21.

Bits of being me, at age twenty one.

2021.
  • Made a new system for cross-cultural communications.
  • Wrote a piece on EU delegations, for summer councils — as a summer intern.
  • Planned my life, my new life.
  • Found a way to write in my diary, instead of pulling out all my hair.
  • Hired a new nanny for my (then 2-year-old) baby-girl-one.
  • Went back to school for another semester.
  • Found my backpack… with my books that i was missing for a couple of years.
  • (Wondered how i lasted a semester of Theology and Economics without them.)
  • Found out i was pregnant, again!
  • Like, how did that happen??
  • Got to marry the same guy who had the two kids with me, before finishing (this sentence) - & married three weeks after pivoting to adulthood, and turning 21.
  • Told him i liked the ring he got me. (It was a pear shaped diamond solitaire, with a platinum band.)
  • I think the yellow gold that my mother inherited from hers, was what she used to design our wedding bands.
  • Fixed my visas, and papers, and commmitted to staying put in ONE country.
  • Found my girbaud & sisley jeans. From when i was eighteen.
  • (I could fit in them again). But then, not after baby number two.
  • Celebrated with my friends at this sushi / kamameshi place that was new to the neighb.
  • Got the baby-girl-one some rabbits - from her cousin’s birthday party.
  • Got a swatch of a new wallpaper, and decided what matches the sofa more — the pink, or the blue?
  • And told everyone i will live in that duplex with my own furniture now, and my own stuff, and get proper living quarters.
  • And move out when i can, support myself and my baby-girl-one, and their boy-dad-thing.
  • And found a place to stay.
  • Sold my car, told my mother i wasn’t going back to Trinity for school.
  • (Sorry.)
  • And that i am heading out to ADULThood faster than i could write to her about.
  • Without it being helped, terribly.
  • Made a note in my diary: to not drive more than a 65-mph zone, even in the autobahn in a ferrari.
  • And to have FUN at 21, even when things felt like that day.
  • When i went to school and my friend Pico stared at my weding ring.
  • And asked, “Are you married?”… and realised he liked me.
  • And he left the next semester,
  • Despite being repeatedly removed from reality to cope with the absurdly insane life that i have had - all 21 years of it - i told myself, at least it was not the Sudan.
  • And feel like things are getting into a more ordered place.
  • Without me being overly dramatic about it.
  • And put some lip gloss, picked up my Trapper Keeper, and went to Physics class.
  • (Finally).

*Author disclaims the innocuous influence on young readers to procreate IRresponsibly iN ANY way, only to find BAlance ANd extreme PLeasure AT fINDING tHemsleves ANd rEVEL in THeir oWN INterests! ANd LEaning INto THem. (Also, I HAte MY KEyboard.)

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Kristin éM

@KrisSn • Editor, OfHothouses&Breadcrumbs | Social+EthTech | Nanochurner of /thésocialapothékær/. Creative. Design. Product. | Fndr, @¡treptrips!